This journey to take a
Sabbath leave starts two years ago shortly after the Annual Conference of the Baltimore
Washington Conference of United Methodist Church. David Norton, our lay leader and delegate to
Annual Conference that year, heard about a Clergy Renewal Grant offered by the Lilly
Endowment Fund. If approved, this grant
provides a clergy person and the congregation they serve up to $50,000; $15,000
comes back to the congregation and the remaining amount to allow the clergy
person and their family plan a three month Sabbath leave. Essentially, both the congregation and the
pastor experience a Sabbath break from each other. Sounded like a great idea, unfortunately, the
application for the Sabbath leave for the upcoming 2011 year had already
expired. The soonest I could apply would
be May 2011 to be used for the 2012 year.
In January 2011, my mother
died, her death was sudden and unexpected.
She was in good spirits on the preceding Thanksgiving when we all
gathered at my parent’s house. For the
longest time I kept a phone message in which she called me early on that Thanksgiving
morning where she chit chatted to the voicemail box about getting ready to peel
the potatoes and stuff the turkey and get them into the oven … I accidentally deleted her voice mail some
time ago but I can still hear her British accent lilting away the close of that
voice message “See yooou …loooove you.”
A week later confusion set in, she was forgetting to take her meds, not
eating well, her blood pressure was all over the place. We were traveling back and forth to doctors
and tests. She wasn’t a happy
camper. She quickly deteriorated and
doctors didn’t seem to get a handle on what was going on. It was an intensely frustrating time. It was the busiest time in the church life
what with the Advent and Christmas eve services upon me and my family and in
the midst of it running to and fro from home, hospital and my parent’s
house. Finally, after New Years we
brought Mum home and called in hospice.
After Mum’s death, I
thought, “Boy, I could really use that Sabbath Leave now.” I really didn’t care for much of
anything. I wasn’t pulling my weight at
church. I generally had only enough
energy to plan and run worship. I felt guilty
because I wasn’t pulling my weight, all the while, people were most forgiving
and caring during this time. Regardless,
it was a terrible spiral. Grief, guilt …
I was assured, and now know that working through grief takes time and it is
easier when people walk through it with you.
I am very thankful for the leaders at Mount Zion who really walked with
me through that time.
In March of that year, I
approached the staff parish team about the possibility of applying for the
Clergy Renewal Grant. If we met the May
deadline and should the approval come that we could anticipate a Sabbath leave
during the 2012 summer. While supportive
of the opportunity, there was some apprehension and concerns raised; it was
generally felt that we needed to work at informing the congregation about the
program; perhaps we can submit the application in 2012 for a 2013 Sabbath. In all truthfulness, I couldn’t see think
that far into the future. The deadline
passed.
In August of 2011, Staff Parish
asked if I would like to go ahead with a Sabbath Leave in 2012. While we couldn’t take advantage of the Lilly
Endowment Grant, we could use their resources from the Clergy Renewal Program
to help us plan a Sabbath leave for me and our congregation. The Staff Parish team formed what became known
as the Bridge Team, a task group of sorts, with the primary responsibility of asking
speakers to help in the worship services during my absence. I’m
kind of jealous of our congregation as the speakers lined up are
phenomenal! The speakers are encouraged
to talk about the church beyond the walls, a similar theme of my own Sabbath
journey. Yes, the Hebrew Scriptures
understanding of “Sabbath,” is to set aside a time to rest and renew, to essentially
set aside work, worship God, be present with those we love our family and
friends. So a good portion of my Sabbath
leave is to ensure that I rest and renew.
But there is also a secondary focus of a Sabbath leave, a way to
experience something that I normally can’t experience because of the demands of
being the sole pastor of a good size congregation. I considered several themes for my Sabbath
Leave: a focus on worship arts, serving beyond the walls of the church, and
coaching. I already had a reasonable
hand on planning and implementing worship, and coaching is of interest to me of
late and I can continue to hone my skills as a coach while serving inside the
church. Because so much of what I
currently do is inside the walls of the church, I decided that I would like to
explore what is God doing beyond the walls.
And so it begins in a few
days, an opportunity to step outside of the church. Permission to be and hopefully … become. I don’t know exactly what God is going to do
through me in these coming months but I am open to the process.
How should I start? I’ve been joking about taking the first few
days and head to the shore, camp out on the state park and stare at the ocean
for a couple of days.
That should be interesting
…
